As Time Goes By-- A Love Story

Yue-kuang Ku顧裕光

China was invaded by Japanese military force in 1937 and mom, just graduated from elementary school, started the long journey of escaping from Nanjing, Jiangsu province to Sichuan province (about 1,000 miles west) with her parents. 

Dad had a even harder deal. He managed to make it by himself all the way to Sichuan, at the tender age of 14, with the initial help of an elder cousin. Eventually mom and dad met in 1941 when they both attended the Jiangsu Provincial Associated joint High School. It was basically a government boarding school for the kids left home without their parents during the war.

After graduating from high school, dad was accepted by the Chinese Air Force Mechanical Academy, and later (in 1945) was sent to the US to study airplane mechanics and engines. He graduated with high honors. Upon returning to China, he married mom in 1947 in Chongching, Sichuan.

The first photo was taken on their wedding day in Chongching. A very sharp young couple drew the attention of the local folks. 

In late 1948 their first baby was born. But within three months they had to flee from another invasion— this time the Mao revolution that took over the entire territory of China except the small island of Taiwan. Mom, being the only child of her parents, convinced her mom to come along and help her setting up her new family in Taiwan with the understanding that granny would soon return to her own husband— “it was just a civil war, how long could it last”. But China cut off all connections with the outside world under Mao’s control. Granny never saw her husband again. She visited his tomb in 1987 when China finally opened up.

The second photo was taken in 1959. Granny, a very bright and gutsy woman, was reduced to caring for her daughter’s children. Physical life conditions were difficult but they eased up when we (in 1966) moved from a small village in southern Taiwan to Taipei, the capital city. Running water, indoor plumbing, TV and refrigerator, oh my!

In October 2000, my parents came to Oaxaca, Mexico. At that time, my partner John and I had a successful business of Mexican cultural tourism based in Oaxaca. We had an annual event, Food of the God Festival, and parents came to explore it. For a week they joined us for the dine-around dinners, hands-on cooking classes, and various excursions to the nearby villages for their known crafts such as weaving, pottery, and woodcarving.

The next picture was taken at the Camino Real hotel in Oaxaca. This was a monastery of Dominique order built in the 16th century and converted into a 5-star hotel in 1972. Dad and mom were 77 and 75, healthy and pleased that their not-so-good son had made something for himself.

Last July mom turned 90. We had a family reunion and everybody came: Taiwan, New York, Boston, DC, Florida. Mom was finally bold enough to put her head next to dad on camera.

 Dad passed away on June 6th. We had the burial on the 16th. Just a very small group of family and friends, but it was filled with love. Red roses, because it was “happy burial”— a celebration for a good soul moving on to the next and higher place. It is also a commencement for the rest of us: go on, move on, carry on.